Stalemate

I'm writing this today from my hotel room in South Bend, Indiana (known for Notre Dame). I feel like so much has changed, yet so much hasn't, and I'm just stuck at this stalemate........
I decided for my own sanity to back away from Chirag. To not take anything he says seriously and to just blow it off and walk away. Its hard doing that with someone you truly care about, and even harder with the circumstances I've found myself in. So, I've started dating other people.
I had a really horrible date the other night with this guy I met online. He was a nice guy and everything, but as soon as he picked me up I knew that it just wasn't going to go anywhere --- and subsequentially, I wanted to get the hell out of there. So, I had an appetizer and a couple drinks and made an excuse to go home early. I have a date on Sunday with a doctor, and then if I stick around on Monday, a date with a hedge fund guy. I guess you can say I don't have giant hopes for any of these, I think you know (even online) if it is going to be a great connection, and I'm just coming up empty handed.
On the other hand...... I've been getting asked out by passengers left and right. I met a guy on one of my flights three or four weeks ago. He gave me his card and told me to call him if I was ever in Toronto. Well, a bunch of my guy friends are training there right now and I was planning on coming up. So, I shot him an email. We had a few innocent exchanges online, and then two or three days ago he started texting me. Now it is not quite so innocent.... But my problem is that I'm not sure if he realizes that it isn't going to be a booty call. Ya know? I've sort of tried to make my point on that, I'm a relationship girl certainly, and hope that he understands that. So, should I fly up to Toronto in a couple days and test the waters?
In other news, my grandmother's murder trial has been going on in WA. I flew back home to be with my family, became a recluse, and have been having a hellish time dealing with all the shit that has been going down. A good portion of my family is lying, trashy shit. And I hate being around it.

(no subject)

Well, I've just applied to Loyola University's paralegal program as well as DePaul and also DePaul's M.S. in Health Law Program. Not sure if I'll get in to the grad program at DePaul......but I thought I would apply anyway. I see these are a pre-cursor to my law studies. I'm feeling a bit better about things lately. I decided to get off my ass and that always helps.......Now just time to clean house, per say.

I might have a place to live!

So Jay went and checked out this apartment for me about a week or so ago. It was in a good location (near Calhoun Square and Uptown, which is where I want to live), but it was $750/month. As much as I thought it would be cool, I thought it would be dumb of me to spend $750/month on a sublet in case I decided that I wanted to get my own apartment after the sublease was over. Oh, and also dumb to blow that much money on a summer place if the whole Minnesota thing went bust. Anyway......The girl emails me this morning. I tell her that my financial aid has been changed (which is true) and that I can't afford that much and that I was sorry. She told me that she hadn't found any other people to sublet that she thought she could trust (apparently Jay being a lawyer and being a good guy went over well) and asked me how much I could afford. I told her $500/month. So we chatted on the phone and she's going to talk it over with her bf tonight. She said if it is okay with him, they'd cover the other $250/month. I guess getting $500/month towards your place is better than nothing, right? Anyway, I really hope I am able to get this place because it would be super fun.....it is very convenient and such.........close to all the good bars and restaurants. It would also be a 10-15 minute drive to Jay's current place (he's in the process of selling his house in St. Louis Park to live closer to the city). And, it would be an awesome place for a single gal in the summer. Anyway, if I get it I'll let you guys know. I really hope that I do!

Work

I just posted my resume on Careerbuilder and I've gotten a ton of responses. I probably got 8-10 emails in the past two days from companies asking me to check out different positions as well as their company (in MN).
This morning I woke up to several missed calls - I ended up getting 3 phonecalls from different job prospects (two different recruiters and one freelance makeup job). And, I checked my e-mail tonight to find that another makeup company wants to set up a time in June to train me so I can work for them. How awesome is this?
Now, all I need to do is find the right place to live. I haven't found it yet, but figure I'll know it when I see it. Jay has been great because he's been scoping places out for me. Gotta love that!
I've decided to sell my car. Hopefully I will be able to get rid of it in Ellensburg before I leave. My mom cautioned me against it (well, if you end up not liking it there and coming back you won't have anything to drive.........) I did think about what she said, but decided it was better to sell it now and get some money out of it to put into another car, than let it sit for a couple months and then come back to it dead...............It seriously has about 273,000 miles on it.
So yeah, the whole job prospect thing sort of excites me. I hope that is an indicator that I'll be able to get a job somewhat easily in MN. Like a real job. As far as a real job goes, I've applied to a bunch of things, but then again I just re-did my resume and it seems to be much better. I applied for two different university admissions recruiter jobs and I am really hoping that I get one of them, because I think it would be an awesome job for me. So cross your fingers!


PS- My cat just popped my air mattress! (For those of you who don't know, I've been sleeping on an air mattress since January. This will be my third or fourth one..........) Grrr......

Holy Shit

I got the greatest news today! I went to see an advisor because I had a hold on my account and she informed me that I had 179.5 credits! I am 1/2 a credit away from graduating! So guess who is going to graduate next quarter.............ME!
Apparently at the beginning of the quarter (when I checked my progress) they hadn't transferred all my WSU credits................so yeah, I am pretty happy to say the least.
I'm going to be looking into internships now for the summer. I don't plan on moving back to Portland. So we'll see what happens..........

Decisions, Decisions

So...........I was talking with a Prof today about all the different options I have. I, for one, do not want to be another person who is $30,000 in debt and doesn't have a job. I know the market in Portland and Seattle is harder than shit to get a job in (being that the economy isn't the greatest and it is flooded with people who are highly educated). I read somewhere (Wikipedia, I believe) that Seattle is the highest educated city in the whole US. I also remember reading an article from Willamette Week about how difficult it is to find a job in Portland..........I vaguely remember an interview with a Harvard graduate who said that they were unemployed, and every other city where they had been, doors would open for them..........but not here.
Anyway, we have this thing on campus called the National Student Exchange. This program would allow me to continue and finish my studies at any university in the US.......and I'd only pay CWU's cost (no out of state fees or anything) and that credit would go towards my graduation for CWU. I was actually thinking this could be really good...........because I could pick the city I wanted to live in after graduation and go to school there this Fall........get an internship there this summer and finish out there by December or March. That way I would have connections for jobs...........and I'd pick a city where it would be a lot easier for a fresh college grad to get a job. That way I wouldn't end up back at Nordy's!

Hmmmm

So today was long. It's been a while since I've been in school..........I think Professor Williams hates me. I think I remember why I dropped his class when I was here last.
It looks like I got a job. I just have to go in tomorrow to sign the paperwork. I think it is going to be kick-ass. And it will be through Campus Life again.
I didn't wear any makeup today. I rolled out of bed. It is strange not wearing makeup since I was required to wear it for my job. I feel pretty much naked without it. Is it sad that I want to make a Fred Meyer run to get false eyelashes?
Working out feels so good. I want to run the Seattle marathon............... =)

Deja Vu/Freaking Tired

There's a few things I didn't realize upon my arrival to Ellensburg.

1. I am freaking out of shape, and because of this, I am dead tired today. Nonetheless, I get a free gym membership here and I plan on using it.
2. Papa John's is gone! What the hell.......I practically LIVED off Papa John's pizza when I was here. It was literally right off campus. I don't see how they couldn't have made money considering it was the pizza joint of choice around here.
3. Everyone seems so young.
4. The Starlight still freakin rocks, as well as Golden Dragon.
5. Lori and Sean fucking rock.

The weird thing about this all, is that things are the same, but they are also radically different at the same time. Part of me thinks the door will open and it will be Willie.......that I'll see Dave walking around with his hockey jacket on, Brandon riding his yellow/orange bike, DJ trying to get into politics again, Joey and Amanda walking around.........And first and foremost, Julie walking back with me from class, to our apartment.

We have a 3 day weekend. Thank goodness. I'll need it to catch up on classes and also sleep.

?

They just took my dad to the hospital in an ambulance. They think he has some heart issues. I don't really know what to think since I don't know what is going on........so I'm just sitting here waiting. My dad has had heart issues for the past 3 years or so now..........but nothing has ever happened like this. I'm sort of scared, I want to cry but at the same time I just feel numbed. I don't know if any of you have had to deal with health scares with parents.........but it just isn't a fun thing and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
It is times like this that I wish I had someone in my life. Someone to just put their arms around me and make me feel like everything was going to be okay. The ex never did that. So I guess you can say I've grown sort of a shell. I've become a man in that aspect, so to speak. I used to be such a chicken and afraid of everything. I'm not now.
I've been meaning to drop by Dave and Phil's. I've been working so much lately I haven't had much time to do anything. They are both great guys, and Dave always has such good insight into things. The last time we went out and got a beer I got hit on major time by a lesbian......it was pretty funny but weird at the same time.
I found a house up north. Now I am just trying to get a job all lined up.